Musicka - Watoto's Children's choir

So beautiful to praise God in so many languages!

Evangelicals without Blowhards

Christian evangelicalism has been given a bad name, but there’s a strain that is extraordinarily generous and compassionate.

In this article, popular writer and journalist Nick Kristoff argues that religious people and secular people alike do fantastic work on humanitarian issues — but they often don’t work together because of mutual suspicions.

If we could bridge this “God gulf,” we would make far more progress on the world’s ills.

His Timing for my Good

God's provision comes in His timing - not based on our need, but for His glory.

Sometimes, it is simply for us to acknowledge His ability and our own inability. Sometimes it is to fulfill a grander plan that we cannot see or understand. Sometimes it is simply for us to be 'yanked back to Him'. Either way - waiting is good for the soul. Produces perseverance.

Who said faith was for weaklings?

It's just You and Me.

Faith is not a notion of the mind. It is the commitment of the heart..

What do I of Holy?

Love your God with all your heart, mind and soul.

Really. What do of Him who brought me into existence? How do I love Him who has loved with a perfect love? Not as man loves..but a holy pure love. What do I even know about the slightest hint of Him? The God who gave life it's name.. What do know of Him who is Holy?

Gratefulness..

The song of gratitude lures the humility out of the shadows. For to receive a gift, the knees must bend, the hands must lie vulnerable open and the will must bow to accept whatever the Giver chooses to give..

A friend shared the above quote out of a book she's reading. This coupled with the reflecting on the thoughts of my mind lately is worthy of a blog post! :)

I am often a glass-half-empty realist type. It comes from years of having to figure out life on my own. Caring and providing for my family. Figuring out next steps for my own life. Weighing and considering all options comes naturally to me. I could easily work as an 'analyst'! Ha!

However, being a realist means that one must also acknowledge the good along with the bad. But while I can recount all the 'bad' that happens, do I take the time to remember the good? Do I look hard for all the wonderful things in my life? I am often guilty of not considering all the blessings that I have been given. All the wonderful people that I have had the privilege of getting to know. All the experiences - heart-wrenching, absolutely amazing or mind-numbing as they may be - that have shaped the person that I am and place in life I am. The sheer mercy that God gives on a daily basis that allows my heart to beat, my hands to type this post, and my mouth to speak, and the biochemistry of my cells to continue to function.

As I acknowledge all these gifts in my life - I must realize that nothing I do or am is a consequent of my own self! As I acknowledge my own inability to control anything, I realize the extent of my own willful self. And realize that it is only an act of mercy that I am where I am. No, my life is simply a gift of my Maker. I am simply clay and dust. I am a product of my Maker's creativity and mercy. My role and response then is to simply be obedient and grateful. Thanks be to God for this amazingly never-imagined wild life! Gratefulness is current song I'm singing. :)

The One Thing

He has loved me with an ever-lasting love. Not as man loves. But an unfailing, unchanging love. Happy Valentine's Day, ya'll!

A year later..still thankful..

Things haven't changed much..I'm still thankful for the same things and then some!

See my post from a year ago when I was living in India:

Things I'm thankful for..

It's called Choice

To choose life is to love the Lord your God, obey Him and stay close to Him. - Deuteronomy 30:20

He placed one scoop of clay upon another until a form lay lifeless on the ground...All were silent as the Creator reached in Himself and removed something yet unseen. It's called choice. The seed of choice.

Within the man, God had placed a divine seed. A seed of His self. The God of might had created earth's mightiest. The Creator had created, not a creature, but another creator. And the One who had chosen to love had created one who could love in return.

This is a beautiful picture painted by Max Lucado of how we as human beings are created for a purpose greater than ourselves. By Someone greater than ourselves. And in so doing - we are spitting images of our Creator. We have brains and we have brawn. We also have a choice. To live our life as if it were one big blessing - in daily gratitude and returning love to the One who loved perfectly. It's called Choice. Love is a choice.

(Adapted from Max Lucado's Grace for the Moment)

The Opposite of Love is not Hate...but Fear.

I visited my housemate’s church today and heard the above line. I won’t go into the nuances of the sermon taught by a guest preacher Gene Robinson on a topic which deserves an entire blog post of its own: homosexuality and the Christian church. He threw the above-mentioned line in response to the question of how to respond to those in the church who show retribution against the LGBT community. The line above stuck with me today and has given me much to think about...I could write a book!

For starters, what is love really? Who are the subjects of my love? Both questions have been answered for me in the Bible. The what: The Bible tells me Love is supposed to be sacrificial and focused on the needs of others and not my own. The who: my biggest imperative as a follower of Jesus is to love God and to love people in my life. But what does it mean to love God? An entity that I haven't seen but simply believe exists. And how do I really love people? Especially when my social construct and definition of love may be different from those around me.

However - this is not a post about Love. It's about Hate and Fear. The preacher went to speak about homosexuality - a topic that makes my mind normally spin in 10-million directions - but today my mind was riveted on to this: When am I most prone to hate? What things am I bitter about? Why do those feelings arise? Who causes those emotions to arise? Is it things like hunger, poverty, oppression and war in some far off land? Or is it when something close to my heart hits home.

And what is hate anyway? Is it a bitter feeling against an event or a person? Webster defines hate as an intense feeling of dislike and hostility. Most of us are uncomfortable using the word 'hate' against people - as it denotes too strong an emotion, and perhaps we want to be perceived as balanced, rational beings. In fact, as I write this - I wonder - is there any thing or person that I actually hate? I cannot think of one person that I hate. However, to be completely candid, there are people who are not high on my favorite-people-list. Do I hate them? No. Do I have a hard time loving them? Yes.

While I deeply care about many issues especially that which relates to injustice and inequality even in far-off international settings and I hate - for example corporate money-making machines that exploit poor people in sweat shops and I hate people who fuel the market for child pornography and the sex industries in places like Mumbai and Bangkok, I find that I am most prone to 'hate' when feeling slighted by those that claim to care for me and that I care for. Family who are a part of my human existence and friends who make my social being a reality.

And so - what is it in my struggle to love someone that inspires this 'hate'? A sense of injury is usually tied to this 'hate'. I couldn't care less if a stranger off the street said or did something mean towards me. But if family/friend failed me, it is often difficult to love them. I often have to relearn how to love again instead of holding onto hate.

Today - I understood for the first time the notion that fear can be tied to hate. That fear of self and fear of man could drive the underlying sense of injury which then leads to 'hate'. Instead of loving someone, I am fearful and afraid of what they could do to me, and how they could crush me at my most vulnerable state. How is it that the Fear of Man cripples us so much so that we choose to hold onto 'hate' instead of looking beyond the immediate and choosing to love?

(sigh) I don't know. My responses towards others are conditioned from years of interacting with other human beings. As self-aware as I try to be, I'll likely still do both - love and hate. It's part of my innate human nature, I suppose. However - as I learn more and more how to be like Jesus, I hope that I can let go of my fear and learn to love others well.

Musicka - Natalie Grant

This is what it means to be held...

Musicka - The Summons - John Bell

Heard this song last year at church...powerful words. I love the reminder to always be obedient to God, no matter what life throws my way.

Will you come and follow me
If I but call your name?
Will you go where you don’t know
And never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown,
Will you let my name be known,
Will you let my life be grown
In you and you in me?

Will you leave yourself behind
If I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind
And never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare
Should your life attract or scare?
Will you let me answer prayer
In you and you in me?

Will you let the blinded see
If I but call your name?
Will you set the pris’ners free
And never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean,
And do such as this unseen,
And admit to what I mean
In you and you in me?

Will you love the ‘you’ you hide
If I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside
And never be the same?
Will you use the faith you’ve found
To reshape the world around,
Through my sight and touch and sound
In you and you in me?

Lord, your summons echoes true
When you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you
And never be the same.
In your company I’ll go
Where your love and footsteps show.
Thus I’ll move and live and grow
In you and you in me.

His Timing. For My Good.

Why does God wait till the money is gone? Why does He wait till the sickness has lingered? Why does He choose to wait till the other side of the grave to answer prayers for healing? I don’t know. I only know that His timing is always right. I can only say that He will do what is best...Though you hear nothing, He is speaking. Though you see nothing, He is acting. With God, there are no accidents. Every incident is intended to bring us closer to Him. (Adapted from Max Lucado's Grace for the Moment)

Depend on the Lord; trust Him, and He will take care of you. (Psalm 37: 5)

While I have trouble trusting in these truths on most days, I do know that things always happen in His timing. And for my good.

Praise you in this storm

This song has provided much comfort to me over the years...

and most recently while I live in India.

Deriving significance...

Someone made a comment on my blog, so I went today on the site (after a month's hiatus!) to skim over some of my old posts. It’s been a while since I posted my thoughts online. I still need to write on my experiences in the motherland, but first here’s some randomness from today. I reread this post, and something in the second-last para (labeled as 'Listen') got me thinking…

Most of us are active, social people. I speak for those of us who are extroverts who thrive in the go-go nature of life. When we're not doing something productive and not surrounded by people, we tend to get down and out.

Being in India is really getting me out of my element and comfort zone. I'm SO used to being go-go-go all the time. Used to being Miss Efficient. I've always kept busy; love being challenged, and learning new things. This, being in India, away from all things familiar is not easy. Not having 10 million things to do on a daily basis is not easy – don’t even have Internet at home to keep me occupied! (I worked at a full-time job and went to grad school, for crying out loud!) Being in a land where things take an average of 3.5 times longer is not easy. (For example, it took me 5 weeks to get a bank account set up!)

But…I am learning lots here. Learning to sit still...learning to listen...to myself...to others around me. Mostly, I am learning how to depend wholly on my Lord. And find my significance only from Him. Not from people – my family and friends. Not from the work of my hands (macbook?)

I have to admit – it’s not easy to do this. We’re SO results-orientated. At work, we set targets and measure outputs. We’re always ‘delivering’. We measure impact and improve systems and processes. We often feel good about ourselves when we’ve had ‘productive days’. I wonder, is this how we relate to one another? Do our expectations of people derive from the same ‘results’ nature of things? Do we measure friendships with how much we got back?

I suspect that the lesson of deriving significance only from Him is going to be a life-long one. It’s a journey – one with many dips and turns, but when all else fails me, the One who teaches me on a daily basis to live to the fullest, laugh often and love sacrificially, never will.

More on India later!

Bureaucracy and delays

My trip to India is on hold. Indefinitely. Little did I know that I'd be learning the joys of Indian bureaucracy on this side of the ocean. Short story: still waiting on my visas to come in. Hoping that things will work out in a few short weeks! So, while I'm excited about the opportunity to do some public health work on the ground, this little pause has given me some much-needed time with family and to do some thinking and taking stock on where I am and where I've come from. Call it a mid-year resolution of sorts.

Some random ramblings in my head:

People! No matter where I came from, and where I go - people always come first! In the hustle/bustle of life (i.e. life as a full-time worker and graduate student, living away from family etc), I became less intentional in maintaining friendships. Would love to do better in this area. Actually, would love to learn how to love people well. Especially family. Those who know me best and that I care for the most.

Pipes and Flexibility: The American culture is very much a go-getter/I-can-do-all-things culture. We're constantly bombarded by where we need go, what we need to do, and how to get 'ahead' in life. Perhaps this is ubiquitous across many cultures, but never did I feel the pressure to achieve so much in life and have dreams to shoot for the moon, until I moved to America. Amazing, since you hear stories of folks with a bit of stoic will-power, who really can do anything that they put their mind to. Goals and dreams are good things to have. They give people (me?) much-needed structure for daily living (smile). That being said, flexibility, patience and the ability to sit still is a skill that I still am learning to practice.

Listen! While loving life, laughing myself silly, and simply living life to the fullest, I forget sometimes that sitting still is a good thing. Simply listen to the humdrum of life around you. What do you see? What do you hear? I lived in Boston for the past two years, and was pretty busy for the most part. However, I had my little thinking quiet spot - I call it my Carrie Bradshaw desk. It was my desk in my room overlooking my street, where I could see the neighbors' houses around me and and the Boston skyline in the horizon to my right. My space to think and reflect. While I love skylines of cities, I also love green and blue. Being in a small town at my mother's home. The simple rhythmic motion of my comfy reclining chair overlooking trees outside and blue Florida skies, while catching up on reading, often puts me in a reflective mood. Out of one of those reflections comes this age-old adage: Listen more. Do less. Talk less. Listening gives me the ability to learn. To learn about myself. To learn about others. To realize that dreams cannot live in pipes made of steel, but of things pliable and malleable. To learn how to take those dreams and goals from yesterday and have them fit into today with everything that Today can throw at you.

So, I leave you with this last bit of randomness - yes: I love people, live to the fullest and laugh often. BUT..I cannot do any of those things, without loving God first. Hmm...that's the next set of explosions that are happening in my head. What does it mean to know love God? What does it mean to know Him who is Absolute Truth in a relative world? (smile)

Musicka - Aradhna

From time to time I'll post new music that I have discovered...or am currently listening to..

I don't know what it is about music that overcomes me but I often find myself enamored by one or two songs and listen to them over and over again. Music is often for me more of a spiritual and emotional thing than anything else. (Unless it's any genre of dance music - which is more of a shaking-my-booty thing!) Years later, if I hear a song or listen to an older CD, the emotions of the time-period within which I listened to that song often washes over me afresh. It's amazing how the human mind associates memories with sensory experiences tied to sound, smell, sight etc. 

Currently listening to Aradhna's Amrit Vani. This group blends music from the east and west to create beautiful Indian bhajans (devotional songs). I grew up listening to bhajans played by my grandmother and mother in the morning as they prepared for the day ahead. This along with the fact that Aradhna so eloquently sing those bhajans to my Lord and captures exactly what I want to say, has me enamored. Captivated by so many songs on their albums. Particularly Man Mera perfectly describes the state of my mind right now.

Check out the lyrics and listen along..